White Rose Feels
by abscondegressevanesce
Summary: An inquiry to the structural stability of Ruby and Weiss' bunk beds. Because you should never hang a bunk bed from the ceiling with ropes. Alternatively titled "Weiss Sleeps a Lot" or "Weiss Often Resorts to Unnecessary Violence." A fluffy white rose fic. Tagged as humor because I think I'm funny. I'm sorry. Rated T for vicious pillow fighting and passive aggressive cuddling.


Hello friends!

This is my first time actually sharing a fic that I wrote with the world so please be kind! Criticism in the form of reviews and pms would be delightful as long as they're not cruel. I hope you all enjoy it. I don't normally ship white rose (more of a monochrome kind of person) but it...just sort of happened. I couldn't help it, they're just so cute. Anyways.. *ramble trails off*

Weiss awoke to the sound of slow, gentle creaking. Too aware to fall back asleep but not yet cognizant of the source of the sound, she sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes and yawning groggily. It sounded like…rope rubbing against something, and mattress springs squeaking. Surmising that it was just Yang with a fetish-stricken boy over, she lay down and turned her back to Blake and Yang's side of the room to shield her innocence and womanly virtue. Her father would have been proud.

Almost on the verge of dreaming, Weiss shot back up with a sense of dread. Their room lacked the sound of Yang's telltale moans and scent of ashy ecstasy. Furthermore, the creaking was coming from directly above her. Pausing for only enough time to sniff in disapproval, she tossed aside the covers and lunged out of the way, pulling her body into a somersault and regaining her feet on the carpet between her bed and Blake's. The sound of her feet hitting the floor was overpowered by the sound of rope snapping and Ruby's bed slamming into hers, seconds away from creating a Schnee-patty.

Weiss shook the disturbing thought from her head and leapt onto Ruby's fallen bunk, setting her face to the most angry and condescending visage possible as Ruby slowly awoke amidst the chaos and debris.

"Ruby?" she asked calmly, void of any tell-tale emotion.

"Yus?" grumbled Ruby, still half asleep and very much afraid of her partner. In a flash, Weiss had armed herself, snatching the pillow from beneath Ruby's head.

"You. Could. Have. Killed. Me." Weiss growled, driving her point across by accompanying each punctuation with a fluffy clout to the noggin.

"Sorry! Sorry, I didn't mean to!" Ruby shrieked, flailing her arms to fend off the feathery flogging.

"That's not the point." Weiss said sharply, dropping the pillow, leaping from the bed, and marching across the room to her chifforobe. She opened the bottom drawer gently, so as not to show the rather unladylike trait of boiling rage. From the dresser she pulled two clean sheets, some blankets, and some pillows, losing no time in assembling a simple pallet in the middle of the room.

"That's a cute bed, Weiss," Ruby whispered, still terrified of incurring the wrath of her roommate. "It goes great with you…pajamas."

Weiss scoffed in a very un-heiress-like manner. "This," she said, gesturing to the glorified bedroll, "is your new bed. I see that you're currently sitting in mine. I'll quite graciously ask you to remove yourself promptly as I need my beauty rest. Failure to comply will result in air glyph projection, which may further result in broken bones, but a slightly happier Weiss Schnee. Have you decided which method you'd prefer?" Weiss asked with a snotty grin as Ruby scrambled down from her bunk and curled up in the blankets on the floor.

The only other sounds in their room besides Ruby shuffling into the pallet was the faint snicker from Blake, observing them with glowing yellow eyes, and Yang's dull, throbbing snore. How she could still be asleep after all that ruckus was a mystery that Weiss couldn't understand—mostly because she didn't particularly care to.

Without another thought on the matter, she jumped into her new, if precarious, bed. She fell asleep with an ambiguous smile on her face. Things certainly could have been much worse.

Weiss awoke early, given that it was a Saturday, wondering why she felt so happy and why she was sleeping on a bed that was angled twenty five degrees above level. Slowly, she remembered. Ominous creaking. Ruby's bed falling and crushing hers. Exacting revenge in the form of pillow bludgeoning. Ruby having to sleep on the floor. Oh, how the mighty have fallen, Weiss thinks with glee as she peered over the edge of Ruby's old bed.

Instead of paying for her crimes by surrendering to the mercy of the cold and ruthless hardwood floor, Ruby Rose had the audacity to look remarkably comfy given her less-than-fortunate situation. Weiss huffed in disappointment; she only had her own exceptional crafting skills to blame. The heiress huffed indignantly one last time before turning over and attempting to fall back asleep.

Her brief respite was challenged by an earth-shattering creak and the splintering sound of wood being torn asunder. The remains of Weiss' bottom bunk crumbled to dust beneath Ruby's, toppling the upper bunk and depositing her gracelessly onto Ruby's mess of sheets and blankets.

A horrified and scandalized gasp tore through Weiss' throat. She had landed in an extremely compromising position, her limbs awkwardly entangled with a half-conscious Ruby.

Seeking to extract herself from her partner's embrace before the rest of her teammates awoke to make fun of her about it; Weiss solved the problem in the only way she knew, by aggressively pummeling Ruby with her pillow.

"Weeeeeiss?" Ruby sleepily slurred, confused and awoken by Weiss' unnecessary violence. Weiss froze in mid-swing, though the two still weren't fully separated, turning scarlet from her neckline to the top of the brows. The way Ruby had said her name practically dripped with intimacy and innuendo. The ice princess gripped her pillow tighter, preparing to give Ruby a piece of her mind on why that behavior was simply inexcusable.

Before she had uttered a word, though, Yang's cheery face popped over the edge of her bunk to greet them. Yang's face fell for a split second in confusion over the horrific mess that their room had been reduced to before brightening once again.

"Good morning Weiss and Ruby! I was going to ask how you broke your bed, but I'm pretty certain I figured it out all on my own!" Yang commented happily.

"You two make a very cute couple," Blake added, smothering a yawn and scratching her kitty ears.

Weiss emitted a soundless—yet defeated—wheeze, similar to a balloon expelling all of its haughty air and collapsed backwards on the floor, finally freeing herself from Ruby's rasp.

My life is over, Weiss thought to herself as she closed her eyes to block out the shame.

Approximately twenty minutes later, Weiss had recovered enough of her ego to function again. Upon awakening from her shame-coma, she realized that Ruby was her only teammate left in her room, reading a comic book and eating a plate of cookies while lounging in her older sister's bed.

Still not fully recovered from earlier, Weiss let out a belated gurgle of distress. Ruby perked up almost instantly upon hearing her partner struggle against her own self-loathing.

"Hiya Weiss!" Ruby all but shouted, poking her head over the side of Yang's mattress.

"Ruby?" Weiss opened her eyes to acknowledge the source of all of her recent woes. She considered hurling the pillow again, but that had shown itself to be ineffective time and again. Instead, she sat up in the most unsophisticated fashion, her spirit long since broken.

"Weiss?" Ruby questioned (again), seeing a deadened glaze cloud over her teammate's eyes.

"One moment." Weiss replied, blinking wearily as she slowly pushed herself to her feet. "Help me clean up this mess." She murmured, gesturing to her old and broken bed.

"No problem, partner!" Ruby spoke cheerily, ushering Weiss out of their room by sharply poking her sides. "Out of the way, please."

As soon as Weiss was deposited outside their door, staggering dizzily, Ruby zipped back inside in a business-like manner. Briskly walking to the other end of the room, Ruby activated her aura and emerged from the room in a spray of wooden chips and rose petals, which settled into a neat pile outside the doorway at Weiss's feet.

"Ruby," whispered Weiss incredulously, "that was actually somewhat clever. I trust that you can handle cleaning up the rest of this mess while I take a nap," she decreed, turning on her heel and entering their room once again. She heard Ruby emit the slightest of huffs as she turned to her assigned duties. With a superior smirk, Weiss lay down on Blake's bed to take her nap.

Weiss awoke an hour and a half later. After finishing the tidying, Ruby had apparently returned to her roost in Yang's bed, as the other members of team RWBY were elsewhere.

The Schnee heiress stifled a yawn as she pulled herself out of bed, fixing her hair and standing in an attempt to face the day once again. She air-glyphed up to hop on Ruby's bed, landing solidly on Ruby's sprawled legs and waking her astute partner who had been nodding off in her History of Remnant book.

"Ruby Rose," she spoke softly as her young teammate was still squirming out of the depths of unconsciousness.

"Yes?" Ruby replied groggily.

"I believe it is well past time for us to rectify our bed situation." Weiss stated seriously.

Yang popped her head through the door. "You mean erectify the bed situation?" Yang joked horribly before darting back out, a hairsbreadth away from being creamed by the pillow Weiss angrily lugged her way.

Habitually ignoring her sister, Ruby spoke seriously, "We could ask Professor Goodwitch for a replacement bed and beg Ren to help us put up a more stable top bunk? I'm sure he's much better at constructing things safely," Ruby sheepishly admitted.

"I'd rather not gamble my life on such a consistently dangerous arrangement," Weiss said impatiently, averting her eyes so that she wouldn't have to see the hurt and betrayed expression that Ruby assumed.

"B-b-but Weiss," Ruby whispered brokenly, "I thought you always wanted bunk beds. Why would you lie to me?" she added with a wail.

"I wanted the top bunk, you dolt! No one ever wants the bottom, it's boring and exactly like a normal bed! No one wants the bottom bunk!" Weiss hissed.

Ruby pondered for a second, having the grace to at least look ashamed. "Sometimes when you wake up abruptly you bump your head on the ceiling. I was just trying to prevent you from sustaining injuries." she said chivalrously. Weiss gave Ruby a cold glare and Ruby changed her tactics almost instantly.

"Alright," Ruby started, with only a hint of defeat apparent on her face, "how about we have Ren help us set up bunk beds again and I'll take the bottom bunk?"

"No," Weiss sniffed, "I won't allow either of us to take such a risk with our safety.

"What?! No!" Ruby exclaimed. "You made it out fine, plus my semblance is speed. I'll get out of there way quicker than you did!"

"And you're the heaviest sleeper of all," Weiss retorted, "It would crush you before you even woke up."

"Ren will make it way better though, there's no chance it'll fail!"

"No means no, Ruby Rose! It's just not worth it." Weiss spoke with a tone of finality.

"Awww," Ruby grumbled sadly before sprawling back onto the bed and smothering her face with her pillow.

"You know," Blake started as she strolled in, "neither Yang nor I would judge you for sharing a bed."

"We can still set up two single beds on the floor of our side," Weiss said, with far too much hope in her voice for such a delusion. "And how long have you been listening to us?" she hissed.

Blake blinked, "Just a few minutes. I don't want to get caught in the crossfires of your argument. Though it seems I already have." she looked at Weiss pointedly, "Because there is no way that you can fit two more beds in here."

"We weren't arguing." Weiss said with a chill.

"We totally were." Ruby said, finally pulling the pillow off her face.

"Well I'm sorry, I'm just angry at the incompetent dunce who is responsible for the destruction of our sleeping arrangements!" Weiss snapped.

Ruby sighed, "I already said that I'm sorry Weiss. I'm trying to fix it."

"You guys can still share a bed, and you can probably get an even bigger bed. You could probably fit a queen-sized mattress in here." Blake mused. She strolled over to her shelf, picked up a book, and turned back to Weiss.

"But anyways I told Yang I'd be back in the library five minutes ago. She'll be mad if I'm late," she said, turning on her heel.

"Bye Blake!" shouted Ruby.

"I'll see you later," Blake said softly over her shoulder.

The two partners watched Blake cross from the room to the hall. Weiss turned slowly to Ruby. "I suppose we should go talk to Professor Goodwitch about getting a new bed," Weiss said, the words coming out less resigned than she anticipated.

"Just one?" asked Ruby, joy beginning to dawn on her face. Weiss nodded stiffly in response. "Oh Weiss! I'm so excited!" Ruby all but shouted, bear-hugging Weiss so forcefully they fell back on Yang's bed. "We'll be able to get to know each other better!"

"This doesn't change anything," Weiss mumbled half-heartedly, turning her head away so that Ruby wouldn't see her blush.

"To the left! Turn it more towards the left you dolts!" Weiss all but shouted. The mattress bounced between the doorway's frame, nearly dropping to the ground as Yang and Ruby each interpreted a different left from Weiss's commands.

After a bit more scolding from Weiss and huffy apologies from Yang, the mattress was forcefully dropped onto the bed frame and box spring that lay waiting for it. Yang—after angrily dusting off her hands—brushed by Weiss and left the room without a word, still irked from the verbal thrashing she had received.

Without a word, Ruby pulled their bed sheets from a hamper and made the bed. After nearly an hour of struggling, their bed was finally sleep-worthy. Enough time had elapsed that Blake and Yang, the latter having already forgotten her quarrel with the heiress, were already sitting on their side of the room. Ruby was sprawled in the center of the room barely clinging to consciousness, the recent work and stress draining her usual cheerfulness and hyperactivity.

Weiss—seeing Ruby in such a peaceful and calm state—immediately felt her strength leave her and crumpled into a heap on the carpet near her partner.

Yang turned to Blake, her face arranged in a professional visage. "Shall we put the children to bed, Blake-y?" she asked. Blake didn't bat an eyelash. "Sleep brigade," she replied knowingly.

Yang slid off Blake's mattress, bending to scoop her younger sister into her arms and straightening up to toss her through the air. Ruby landed on her new bed with a muffled groan, waking up in confusion.

Blake, in a display of compassion, picked up Weiss' unconscious husk and walked to the side of the bed Ruby was now occupying, dumping the slumbering heiress right on top of her.

"Ruby Rose!" Weiss grumbled sleepily at her favorite scapegoat.

"S-senpai?" Ruby murmured confusedly as Blake turned off the lights.

Weiss managed to groggily pull the covers up around them. She reached about blindly in the dark, finding Ruby's prone body and pulling her close. "Baka," Weiss whispered affectionately into Ruby's hair as the younger girl curled up in her arms.


End file.
